Going Bananas

The last 10 days have been a strange combination of re-engaging and disengaging.

Upon reflection, I can see that I have been trying to learn more and re-engage with the process without completely engaging my mind. For example, I have conveniently had absolutely no time to meditate. However, I have still had time to work with my Tarot cards and play with my crystals.

I didn’t realise I was doing this until last weekend, when I was in a very classy spa in Sydney, at the hotel where my husband and I stayed for a few days. I was showed inside, seated in a small curtained cubicle, and given some forms to fill in about how much pressure I would like for my back massage. For ten minutes I ticked boxes, filled in my contact details, and circled areas on a diagram of the human body that I wanted the masseuse to focus on. A lady brought me some herbal tea, collected my forms, and closed the curtain tightly behind her when she left.

I stared at the fabric draped closely around me. Oh, shit! For the first time in days, I had nothing to stimulate my brain. No work. No television, or Internet. Nothing to read, write, play with, clean, cook, or make a list about. Nothing even to look at! The quiet and space I previously looked forward to, for meditation, suddenly completely freaked me out.

Instead I practiced looking at the aura on my arm, to feel like I was doing something useful, but without really engaging my mind.

So that’s where I’m up to at the moment – I kind of think that if I stopped my brain for a while, it might not start again. See, I’m avoiding it right now, by writing this blog entry instead.

If you have any comments about this post, I encourage you to leave a comment below. If you are not comfortable posting publicly, you can alternatively email me on psychic.journal@gmail.com. Have a great day!

PS - The reference to the title of this entry is in relation to a funny little thing that happened at a staff meeting during the week. We had set up the data projector, so that while I took notes on the lap-top, the others could see what I was writing on the big screen. We were going around the circle at that point, each of us talking about what our work priorities were.

Andrew (name changed, of course) was up next. I wrote Andrew on the laptop, ready to note down what he said. On a very-unlike-me-whim, I wrote likes bananas next to it. Andrew likes bananas. Sitting across the room, Andrew said, ‘I.... like bananas.’ He glanced up at the screen, and promptly freaked out, seeing that I had written exactly that. Consequently, I had a little freak out too, realising that he’d said it before he’d seen that I’d written it. Then everyone else got all weirded out, when they realised what had happened. So we all decided to pretend it hadn’t really happened.

Anyhow, I’m not saying it was a psychic experience... but it was a very strange one!

Awareness

As per my last blog entry, I’ve started to slowly reacquaint myself with the process over the last week. Slowly because I think I did it all a little too fast the first time, and if I’ve learnt anything so far it’s that these things can’t be rushed. This time I’m trying to do the experience justice.

So this week, almost inadvertently, I’ve been working on widening my awareness of my surroundings. It’s weird, kind of like once I decided to re-engage, a switch in my head automatically turned on some kind of ‘meta-awareness’.

I bet this makes no sense at all.

In a way, it’s just taking extra notice of things that might usually seem lucky or coincidental; like unexpectedly seeing someone you’ve been thinking about; or hearing an old song on the radio that’s been in your head. Not looking for strange coincidences as such, but noticing them when they do happen.

Sometimes when this happens, I think it’s for a specific purpose, perhaps to put one in a particular direction. In my case, I wonder if it’s to remind me and reaffirm my interest in this.

Meanwhile, I am absolutely dreading going to work tomorrow (I would chuck a sick day if I didn’t have so much work to do!). Maybe I should try and meditate.

If you have any comments about this post, I encourage you to leave a comment below. If you are not comfortable posting publicly, you can alternatively email me on psychic.journal@gmail.com. Have a great day!

Starting Again (Hooray!)

I think perhaps I overdid it.

I knew, and was warned going into this that there would be ups and downs, and times when I was completely disillusioned with the whole idea of a psychic realm. I didn’t expect though, that my period of disillusionment would be so complete, and that I would completely disengage with the process. I had expected that I would still provide updates during this time, even if it was just to write about how shit it all was.

The truth is, I stopped blogging (obviously), and then I stopped checking the psychic forums that I was previously checking a couple of times a day. Then I stopped checking my email, because I actually didn’t want to know if someone had emailed me, because then I would have to respond. I’d even thought about just giving it all up (the blog, I should specify!).

I wondered if I was destined to have a generic life after all, of living within the parameters of everyday life on Earth and worrying only about what type of boots I would buy for winter (this sounds terribly
egotistical and superior, I know. But hey, in the interests of being honest...).

Then late last week I started to think about it all again. I very tentatively checked my email, which had been inundated by junk mail, and found an email from a fellow forum-user asking if I wanted to be their Tarot buddy, to share learning experiences and ideas with each other. When I logged onto the forum to reply to her, I was surprised to feel almost relieved to be back.

Then, just now, John Edwards appeared as a guest speaker on the 7pm Project television show and reignited my fascination in the ‘other side’.

And so here I am again. My goal this week is to catch up to speed on the Tarot training course on the weekend, and then report back here. This time when I say I’ll be back, I actually will be!

If you have any comments about this post, I encourage you to leave a comment below. If you are not comfortable posting publicly, you can alternatively email me on psychic.journal@gmail.com. Have a great day!